dreading every minute of it
so much angst to express

warning!!! may get ugly!!!!
ratings to be advised

today, i consider again, why the hell did i subject myself to such torture week after week after week... i mean its like, i can continue to serve my corps without passing this anyway... its juz that i dun get my 6 cca points, but thats no big deal... can always get them by other means....

been living in high adrenaline rush all week... after last week upon finding out that i've been awarded the very extinguished role of course i.c. ... living in fear of this faithful day... the trepidation that comes with such huge responsibility: will i get screwed today? or extremely screwed?

the living hell the last week is probably y i've been having sleepless nights the whole of last week.... n today, drunk a cuppa coffee n 2 cuppa teas, but still feeling sleepy!!! its like : wat the hell?!??!

today, the consequence of giving a pessimistic paranoid a VERY important role... a very stressful role... NOT a good idea... i was like shaking all over the place, i mean someone noticed so it would be quite obvious yar? jittery, legs juz wouldn't stop moving... yet, muz still appear b4 at least 90 pple?!?!?!

*Argh*...
i noe i work well under pressure, but this is a little too much... especially when i have no idea wat will go on... like being horribly screwed... or terribly screwed...

im already tredding in unfamiliar water, fumbling my way thru, trying to control my nerves, yet today, pple keep throwing more n more instructions for me to remember?!?!? i already lost half my information n now trying to cram billions more into my brain? think im superman? i bet superman has a better job, seducing lois lane/lana... saving the world with superhuman strength... *oh blah*

possibly the only relaxed time was during lunch... not much to worry abt other than trying to finish the food, since i felt like puking with all the heightened emotions welling up inside me... cos even after lsn, still had to make sure everything was in order or suffer the dire consequences....

*ARGH* at least it ended when it did... i almost felt like crying half-way thru it lor.... even with my high level of tolerance, i almost cracked up.... if it had lasted any longer, i would have cracked up n it won't be a pretty sight...

Anyway, the bottom line is... i already gave it my best shot.. i don't care wat anyone else thinks, i don't care wat anyone else says... i have worked my ass off today, n if anyone thinks its not up to standed, thats too bad... Irregardless(sic) of wat other pple say, i'm my own person, n no one can change the fact that i did my best, no one can take that away from me.... i don't care who/what u r, this is me! LIKE ME OR BITE ME i don't care
bert cussed at 8:27 PM.